CREATION OF THE ARMY

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and the INFANTRY.

And God saw the INFANTRY, and that it was good, and he was pleased.

And God spake unto the INFANTRY: “Be tactical, and proficient, and rule the earth and subdue it. And have dominion over the fish in the sea, and over the birds in the heavens, and over all the key terrain.”

And the INFANTRY dwelt in the land therein.

And it came to pass that many missions were upon the INFANTRY, and they called upon their God: “Oh Lord help us, for we are weary.”

And the Lord heard their grunts and took mercy upon them, for lo, key terrain was abundant throughout the land.

And he raised up the weakest of the INFANTRY and set them on obsolete beasts of burden, and these he called CAVALRY. And the CAVALRY begat the ARMOUR. And the Lord saw the ARMOUR, that it was mediocre, and laughed, saying “Well, thou canst not win them all. Let them lead in case of land mines.”

And the INFANTRY and ARMOUR dwelt in the land therein. But it came to pass that the INFANTRY again cried out: “Lord help us, for we are weary.”

And the Lord heard their voices and looked with favour upon thee, for they were blessed.

He reached down amongst their number and chose those with good looks and charm with an abundance of intelligence and called these ARTILLERY. And the smartest and best looking of these became LOCATING ARTILLERY.

And the Lord said unto the INFANTRY: “When it is dark, the ARTILLERY shall light your way, and when thou needest HE, WP, H & I and counter-battery fire, all this ye shall have.”

And the Lord gave the ARTILLERY big guns and said you will add dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl. And the Lord also said unto the INFANTRY and ARMOUR “Try not to hurt thyselves.”

And the INFANTRY and the ARMOUR and the ARTILLERY dwelt in the land therein. But it came to pass that the INFANTRY again called upon their God: “Lord, help us, for we are weary.”

• And the Lord heard their voices and said I cannot touch the ARTILLERY as they are GODLIKE creatures so 

  • he touched those of the ARMOUR and INFANTRY who were miserly and called these PAY CORPS;

  • and those who could not gain comms and called these SIGNAL CORPS;

  • and those with no friends and called these MILITARY POLICE;

  • and those who were filled with greed and called these QUARTERMASTER;

  • and those who desired other men and called these MEDICAL CORPS;

  • and those who had small minds and called these PSYCHOLOGY CORPS;

  • and those who hid in darkness and called these INTELLIGENCE CORPS;

  • and those who were eternally lost and called these CORPS OF TRANSPORT;

  • and those who played in the dirt and called these ENGINEERS;

  • and those who played with little things and called these RAEME;

  • and those who had no skills at all and called these ORDNANCE.

And the Lord saw all these that he had touched, and knew that they were indeed touched. And the INFANTRY and the others dwelt in the land therein.

And it came to pass that the INFANTRY again cried out: “Lord, help us, for we are weary.”

And the Lord looked upon the INFANTRY with anger and the heavens roared with thunder and the skies burned with fire, and God spoke: “How couldst thou yet be weary? I have given unto thee ARMOUR and a host of others to provide support to thee and you do nothing”. Remember the ARTILLERY can’t do everything.

And the INFANTRY humbled themselves before their Lord and answered unto him:

“SHOULD WE BOW DOWN TO THE ARTILLERY OR JUST LOWER OUR HEADS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PRESENCE.”

And the Lord looked upon the INFANTRY and smiled, and forgave them, for he understood that of which they spoke. 

THEY WERE INFANTRY, BY GOD! 

and the Artillery were, after all, only bloody Gunners.

THANK GOD FOR THE INFANTRY!